No, I’m not Angry…. and Don’t Call Me Sweetheart
In a few days, the vice-presidential debate will occur between Kamala Harris and Mike Pence, and we certainly anticipate a different style of conversation to the confrontation we saw during the recent presidential debate.
There also is likely to be a separate level of analysis beyond the typical fact-checking/who appeared (vice) presidential/who made the best points/who “won” the debate assessment in which the pundits will engage. Inevitably, someone will analyze the inflections of her tone, Is she too assertive or maybe too aggressive? She seems angry, maybe hysterical. Is she dismissive, does she talk down to the American people? They will comment on her outfit, her hair, they will dissect her laugh, its too loud, its raucous. Simultaneously, she will be “too tough” and “not tough enough.”
In the book Women for President: Media Bias in Eight Campaigns, author Erika Falk looked at the campaigns of 8 women who ran for president between 1872 and 2004 and argues that sexism in media coverage persists. Falk suggests that female candidates are generally portrayed as “unviable, unnatural, and incompetent, and are often ignored or belittled.” Jay Newton Small, in the book Broad Influence: How Women are Changing the Way America Works, notes that image has always been a major challenge for female candidates, who receive excessive scrutiny usually centered around their appearance.
Women in all professions and at all levels, routinely face some of these challenges. A 2018 Harvard Business Review article addresses the different words we use to describe male and female leaders. “Women are told on one hand that they’re too bossy or aggressive, but on the other hand told that they should be more confident and assertive.” HBR references significant research that has found that “when women are collaborative and communal they are not perceived as competent — but when they emphasize their competence, they are seen as cold and unlikable.” I’ve had that experience, and I know many of you have too. In a Yale University hiring experiment, male and female actors were used to portray candidates, and resumes and interviews were designed to be identical. The SAME words, spoken in the SAME way by a woman, were evaluated as arrogant and overselling.
So, what do we do? We have to be strong, but not too strong… If we are collaborative we are weak. Directives given by a man, are followed, the same directives given by a woman are questioned. Men are considered assertive, women are aggressive/angry. Men are commanding, women are bossy. Men are confident, women are vain or arrogant. Men are ambitious, women can also be ambitious, but NOT in a good way. Why? Because that’s not how society expects women to behave.
The flip side of this is just as damaging, extremely informal and inappropriately familiar ways in which women are addressed or described in a work setting. A few years ago, I remember sitting in an audience of young AAU basketball players listening to my colleague talk about the NCAA recruiting process. She was asked a question [by a certain shoe company executive in the room], she responded, and he followed up with…”Honey what you need to understand is…” well, she didn’t miss a beat, “Don’t call me Honey and this is the answer to your question.”
Where a man would be described as extremely helpful, a hard worker and committed, a woman is described as a “sweetheart.” This diminishes the perception of our professionalism and our competence. Some may not realize the implication of this and may actually believe that it is flattering and welcomed. It is not — It is objectifying, it perpetuates an imbalance in power and reduces women to this non-relevant, abstract, soft, amorphously cuddly thing… I’ve never seen a job description that lists “sweetheart” as a preferred quality. We don’t refer to men as sweetheart, babe, doll, darlin’ etc., in the workplace. Don’t call me sweetheart…and no, I’m not angry.
32 Responses
Fastidious answers in return of this query with solid arguments and explaining all regarding that. Averyl Dallas Malkah
You made a few good points there. I did a search on the subject and found the majority of people will consent with your blog. Joli Andris Sansbury
Hello! I simply want to offer you a huge thumbs up for the great information you have here on this post. I am coming back to your site for more soon. Aimil Farlie Frazer
This is my first time visit at here and i am in fact impressed to read all at single place. Jacklyn Jodi Hluchy
You get a lot of respect from me for writing these helpful artsilec. Dru Nicola Britte
Incredible points. Outstanding arguments. Keep up the amazing work. Suzann Ebenezer Cope
Agen Poker Online Cahayapoker Terbaik, Poker Online, Casino Online. Annalise Ahmad Bouchier
https://ucuztakipcitr.medium.com/instagram-takipC3A7i-hilesi-2021-41e5b167dda1
This is determined by amount of voltage it receives. Giulia Georg Grier
It’s very easy to find out any matter on web as compared
to textbooks, as I found this piece of writing at this web page.
I really like it whenever people get together and share thoughts. Doralynne Kippar Quintie
You must get involved in a contest first of your greatest websites
on the web. I’m planning to strongly recommend this site!
My webpage … ElmoZBlattel
You are absolutely right! In most cases, those who need therapy the most will never seek it out. Mufinella Seumas McDade
Yes! I love leather skirts of all lengths. It appears that leather pants, especially joggers, are coming into style, and we are here. for. it. The skirt is definitely versatile for all occasions. Doro Donnie Felske
I simply could not leave your web site prior to suggesting that I extremely loved the usual info a person provide to your guests? Is going to be again frequently in order to inspect new posts| Yetta Jeremie Judy
Pretty! This was an extremely wonderful article. Thanks for supplying this info. Aime Erhard Eiger
You really make it seem so easy with your presentation but I find this matter to be really something that I think I would never understand. It seems too complex and very broad for me. I am looking forward for your next post, I will try to get the hang of it! Ruthann Finn Irmine
When I initially left a comment I appear to have clicked on the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and from now on every time a comment is added I recieve 4 emails with the same comment. Is there a means you are able to remove me from that service? Appreciate it! Veronike Isiahi Blasien
Hello i am kavin, its my first time to commenting anyplace, when i read this article i thought i could also make comment due to this good piece of writing.| Suzanne Hernando Stenger
When I originally commented I appear to have clicked on the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and from now on whenever a comment is added I get 4 emails with the exact same comment. There has to be a means you are able to remove me from that service? Thanks a lot! Ardis Humfried Esther
Love you auntie!! Enjoy that beach life and time with sisters! Teodora Jeddy Seely
Everything is very open with a clear explanation of the issues. It was truly informative. Your website is useful. Thank you for sharing! Harlie Leland Damalus
Somebody essentially assist to make significantly articles I might state. Jannelle Templeton Iow
Hello, I think your blog might be having browser compatibility issues. When I look at your website in Safari, it looks fine but when opening in Internet Explorer, it has some overlapping. I just wanted to give you a quick heads up! Other then that, very good blog! Albina Rogers Iphagenia
Mazal tov! Mazal tov! Thanks for letting us share in the simcha virtually. Greer Garrik Feigin
I have learned a few important things through your post. I will also like to express that there might be situation where you will have a loan and do not need a co-signer such as a Government Student Aid Loan. When you are getting credit through a conventional creditor then you need to be able to have a cosigner ready to assist you to. The lenders will certainly base their very own decision on the few elements but the greatest will be your credit standing. There are some financial institutions that will also look at your job history and make a decision based on this but in almost all cases it will be based on on your credit score. Odille Artie Newbill
I believe that is among the so much significant information for me.
And i am glad reading your article. But want to commentary on few normal
issues, The web site taste is perfect, the articles is in point of fact nice : D.
Excellent activity, cheers
Valuable info. Lucky me I found your website by accident, and Im shocked why this accident didnt happened earlier! I bookmarked it.
always i utilized to read smaller posts that also clear their motive, and that is certainly also happening with this particular post that i am reading now.
my web-site – RiaTVanlue
Wonderful article! We are linking to this particularly great article on our site. Keep up the great writing. Jazmin Hadlee Marala
How is it that just anyone can write a blog and get as popular as this? Its not like youve said something extremely impressive more like youve painted a pretty picture through an issue that you know nothing about! I dont want to sound mean, right here. But do you really think that you can get away with adding some quite pictures and not definitely say anything?
Cool. Do you have a mailing list? This is what I was looking for. Much appreciated! 😉